RANDOM

Whether you are a veteran runner, or a novice, you undoubtedly have suffered through a comedic list of random comments from non-runners.

In my last blog I related a story of a recent viewing I attended. Two older ladies (by the way, I believe there is an actual team of older women whose job it is to attend viewings) were sitting on chairs as I waited in line. One of the women said, "Were you running on Norwegian Street this afternoon?" I acknowledged that it was, indeed, me. Her response was, "I almost hit you." I smiled and offered my standard reply. "Well, as long as you weren't aiming for me."

After 36 years of running the streets of my city and county, I truly wish I had a dollar for every time I've endured the, "I almost hit you" line.

Check out my last blog, entitled, "WHY." I included a picture of my good friend and training partner, Rob Crosswell. In 1985, Rob turned in a time of 2:49 at the Boston Marathon. Knee issues curtailed his running, so Rob took up rollerblading in order to stay in shape. Soon, he was joining me on training runs of 7-15 miles. WELL...if you think the "I almost hit you" line applies to us as runners, you should hear the expletives that have been hurled at Rob over the years, as he has spun his way on the hilly, narrow streets of town!

There are few days that I am not out on the road. Since 1976 I've run over 120,000 miles. I am fortunate enough to still be able to log 50 miles a week. No matter, though, I still frequently hear, "Are you still running?" Come on. I'm 150 pounds, sporting a prisoner of war look. What do you think I've been doing?

Perhaps you have heard, "Are you ok? It looks like you've lost weight." Clearly, being overweight in America is, to many, a sign of good health!

"Don't your lungs freeze?" is a popular question in the cold weather months. I'm not a physician, but frozen lungs would probably equal death!

Then, of course, there is total glee when an avid runner suffers a heart attack, and particularly if a runner dies on a workout or in a race. There is almost a "See, I told you so" attitude. Pass me the remote, the nachos and get me more pork rinds.

Of course, our running tights, our lack of clothing in the summer months, and our running gaits, are all hot topics among the non-running community.

Many of the folks who have commented on my book, "Running Shorts," www.runningshortsbook.com, tell me the chapter, entitled, "Why Do They Hate Us So Much?" is their favorite. I list some of my all-time favorite random, non-runner lines, and I attempt to explain why they really DO hate us so much in the chapter.

So, the next time you attend a family function, a social event, your childrens sports activities, or other public functions, be ready for the interrogation. Smile, fire back, but be proud. You have EARNED their hate and their jealousy, as well as their idiotic comments.

 Keep getting out there and earning it every day!

WHY??

Our local newspaper, The Republican Herald, prints a daily column, entitled, 'Thunder/Enlightning,' in which local folks call in (anonymously,of course) to offer their opinions.

The following observation, and the subsequent response by the moderator (hats off to that person), appeared in Friday's edition.

 

"When did the streets of Pottsville turn into the jogging trail of Pottsville? Don't these people realize they might get hurt? The picture in the paper showing the jogger fading through the fog on Howard Avenue is perfect. You don't want me driving on the sidewalks do you? Well, I don't want you jogging on the streets."

Moderator's Response

"Joggers can run on the streets, the highways, or the alleys if they want. You, the driver of a vehicle, by law, are not allowed to hit them. Just because you have four wheels doesn't give you anymore rights than the jogger, the bicyclists, the motorcylist, or the Amish buggy driver."

If you read my book, this is right out of the chapter, "Why Do they Hate Us So Much?" www.runningshortsbook.com.

Can you believe that, in 2013, there are still morons out there with this mentality?

Rob Crosswell, a member of the Cast of Characters in my book, REALLY incurred the wrath of motorists, as he navigated the streets of our town on his rollerblades.

 

These are OUR streets as much as theirs. Stay safe, but keep logging those miles, and keep frustrating the haters!

TECH DORK!

Last week, for Groundhog Day, I decided to run a sale on my book, "Running Shorts: A Collection of Stories and Advice for Anyone Who has Ever Laced Up a Pair of Running Shoes." www.runningshortsbook.com.

Quite a few runners who attended my seminars at the Louisiana and Miami Marathons, (I will deliver seminars at the Yuengling Shamrock Marathon in Virginia Beach in March) corresponded with me, offering kind words and praise for the book.

I truly believe, on these cold winter days, reading the stories in my book will make you laugh, and the advice will make you a better runner. For example, by reading the book, you will learn the definition of the word, "snurch," as well as proper snurch etiquette.

After ordering a quantity of books from my publisher, I was ready for the book-buying frenzy!

But, like the nerd awaiting the kiss from the prom queen, it never came.

Luckily, I received an email yesterday from a runner informing me that when he attempted to purchase the book, an error message came up.

Clearly, I am a tech dork!

In an effort to properly place the sale advertisement on the site, I messed something up, thus negating any opportunity for anyone to purchase the book on my website. Some salesman, eh?

So I immediately contacted the webmaster (my wife). She fixed the site two minutes, AND asked me if I wanted cheese and crackers!

Anyhow, if you DID try to purchase the book (and I hope hundreds of you did!) my apologies for my 'last century' web knowledge.

The Groundhog Sale is still on. We are eating our left over groundhog stew. (Lest you think we in northeast PA are complete bumpkins, I'm only kidding) The storm has arrived. My 7 miler is in, the house is fully stocked...with beer and wine.

Stay warm, healthy, and safe!

Around the Corner!...Really???

Another snowstorm is heading for us, here in northeastern PA.

I really wish someone would broil that wretched groundhog!

After a Super Bowl Sunday of excess, at the Ausherman farm (A diehard Philadelphia Eagles fan, I finally experienced a Super Biowl victory with my favorite AFC team, the Ravens), my Monday and Tuesday workouts were sluggish. Yesterday, I logged 6 slow miles on the snow, in the mountain behuind my house. This is the mountain where anthracite coal was discovered by a logger, Necho Allen, in 1806, as he tried to extinguish a wood fire. Running on the snow is similar to running on a hard-packed sandy beach. Good for all the leg muscles, bad for an overall time. Even the slow miles, however, produce an elevated heart-rate, and despite a minor spill, a mere 1/4 mile from my home, on ice that was well-disguised under two inches of snow, it turned out to be a good workout.

Runners, especially those who, like me, prefer races of 10K or above, often fall into the routine of grinding out their miles at an even pace.

That's why we need the track!

Today, I jogged toward the local high school track, located exactly one mile from my home, hoping the snow had melted sufficiently to provide me with one lane for a couple of fast miles. Except for about 20 meters of snowy/icy patches, the crimson surface of the track offered a breath of spring on a day when the temperature hung in the low 30s, with a biting wind.

Winter track workouts are for maintenance purposes. A way of alerting stale muscles that faster workouts and races are to come.

After a 2-mile warmup, my sore legs responded slowly, producing a 6:28 mile. After an 800-meter jog, I was able to come back with a 6:19. Next month I plan on doing 4 to 6 mile repeats in preparation for the Boston Marathon, but on a cold February day, I'll take today's effort.

2 Miles warmdown gave me a 7-mile workout for the day. Depending on the storm, I have an 18-20 miler scheduled for Saturday.

Damn that groundhog!

FRIENDSHIP

One of my personal favorite stories in my book, "Running Shorts: A Collection of Stories and Advice for Anyone Who Has Ever Laced Up a Pair of Running Shoes," www.runningshortsbook.com, deals with a person who has become one of my closest friends.

John Ausherman, from Chambersburg, Pennsylvania, and I were bitter running rivals in the early 1980s. We may have raced against one another fifty times, and we probably split our victories over each other, 25-25. I ran a 2:22:54 marathon, John ran in the low 2:24s. I PR'ed at the Philly Half Marathon with a 1:08:04, he ran a 1:07:50. At the Cherry Blossom 10-Miler, we split victories, running in the high 51:00 and low 52:00 range.

In 1992, while on a family vacation at Myrtle Beach, I ran into "That Ausherman guy." By chance, our condos were several yards away from each other on the beach. We agreed to meet for a morning run the next day. What developed from that run was a friendship with a gentleman and a family that has grown over the years.

We have watched our families grow. I have been privileged to be part of a race, the Tom Ausherman Ausherman Memorial 5-Mile Run, established to honor John's father, a Marine, who helped launch the running boom in the Chambersburg area. I have had some of the greatest thriils of my life, hunting deer on his magnificent mountain in Doylesburg, PA. John has been a mentor to my son. His wonderful wife, Sue, has become a dear friend to my wife, Crissy. We attended his daughter's wedding, now we love his beautiful granddaughter.

John Ausherman and his daughter Lindsay

 

We get together several times thoughout the year, and share many laughs and good times.

Tomorrow, my wife and I will drive to Doylesburg, to celebrate, and cheer for John's team, the Ravens, as they compete in the Super Bowl.

Much is said and written about the health benefits of running, but lasting friendships with good people are benefits that make our sport of running a great endeavor.

THAT SPECIAL PERSON...ON THAT SPECIAL DAY

It's just right around the corner.

That special day.

Dont' forget to give the one you care about a token of your admiration as the day of love and hope approaches.

Yes...IT'S ALMOST GROUNDHOG DAY!

On Saturday, three hours west of my home, in the small town of Punxsutawny, the overweight rodent will make his annual 'prediction,' which is rarely accurate, telling us how many more weeks of winter we will be forced to endure.

Personally, I can't think of a better way to spend the last few weeks of winter than reading some entertaining stories, and receiving advice from a veteran of 52 marathons, 48 of them under 3 hours, and 12 under 2:30, and who has logged over 120,000 miles in his running career.

My stories are yours, as you read about black toenails and bloody nipples.

Who doesn't like a good car chase?

Buy my book and you'll read about a real life car chase that nearly resulted in the demise of this marathoner at the hands of a bunch of redneck drunkards.

"The world's Greatest Athlete," Jim Thorpe, is inexplicably buried here in Pennsylvania. You'll learn why by reading, "Running Shorts: A Collection of Stories and Advice for Anyone Who Has Ever Laced Up a Pair of Running Shoes." www.runningshortsbook.com.

You'll love the 'Cast of Characters,' runners of all ages and ability levels, who have accompanied me on my running journey over the years.

The chapter, 'Diet Book,' guides you through a tongue-in-cheek journey through the world of weight
loss.

Throughout my 36-year career, I have experienced many highs and lows. In my book I offer advice that will make you a better runner, based on what has worked for me, and what has not.

So, for that favorite runner on your Grounghog Day list, (even if it's you!) go to www.runningshortsbook.com and order Running Shorts. I'll sign it for you, and throw in a free, "Each Day is My Personal Best" women's T-Shirt. I'll even pick up the shipping and handling.

But, it doesn't stop there!! (Imagine a loud infomercial voice)

Buy the book and you will receive free 'tech' support. Message me on Facebook (Running Shorts page), follow me on Twitter (rdrunnr00), or email me at: runningshorts09@gmail.com, and I'll offer my help to you in the areas of training, racing, or injuries.

Happy Groundhog Day to all!

Punxsutawny Phil 'predicts you'll love the book!

MAGNIFICENT MIAMI

Near the American Airlines Arena, where LeBron James performs his aerial acrobatics, the tropical stillness was interrupted by an occasional breeze, which offered life to a massive American flag hanging at the starting line. Giant white spotlights pierced the predawn air, and loud music blared, while a procession of men and women, scantily clad in their brightly colored shorts and singlets, marched, like Texas cattle, to the corrals.

Shoulder to shoulder, sweat, analgesic balm, and bad cologne combined to form a pungent odor, as local politicians wished the runners well, in the moments before the start.. Voices uttered languages reflecting the 79 countries represented at the event, as the cannon sounded for the start of the 11th annual ING Miami Marathon.

The 9-degree reading on my thermometer was painful to my dogs as we sent them outside before we departed to Baltimore for our flight to Fort Lauderdale on Friday morning. After a two and a half hour flight, we were cruising in our rental car to our destination in Miami.

Filled with a delicious meal from a local Cuban restaurant, and after a brisk 4-mile run in 76-degree heat, to Bar Harbour and back, my wife and I made our way to the expo, at the Miami Beach Convention Center.

We met up with John Switzer, our host for the Run and Sea cruise, www.runandsea.com, on which I am one of the seminar speakers in December.

Miami is an international city, and at Friday's expo, signed copies of my book, "Running Shorts," www.runningshortsbook.com, went to runners from Jamaica, the Bahamas, and Trinidad. We met runners from all over the world during our three days in Magic City.

On Saturday, my wife joined 1,500 other runners who competed in the point-to-point Tropical 5K.

Saturday's expo was jammed with thousands of runners. My seminar, "Advice for running into your 60s," was well-attended, and the participants asked some great questions. I hope they all ran successful races on Sunday.

The Miami Marathon began at 6:15 a.m., and during the early stages, it was very dark. The one and one half mile stretch across the MacArthur Causeway was spectacular; the massive cruise ships lined the way as we ran by. As we looped through Miami Beach, I glanced at a time/temperature clock atop a tall building. It read: 7:00 a.m./73 degrees. A little warm for a Yankee from the north. I passed runners with 'Argentina,' Costa Rica,' and 'Venezuela' across their colorful singlets, as we wound our way through the streets.

When we re-entered Miami, around the 11-mile mark, the crowd cheered wildly. I was buoyed by shouts of, "Joe," "Joe," "Joe." After I crossed the finish line of the half marathon, two miles later, I found out that the cheers were led by my wife!

I crossed the finish line in 1:33:33, good enough for 2nd in the age division, and 219th in a field of 14,700. It was my second half marathon is as many weeks, having run the Louisiana Half Marathon in 1:28:00 the week before. All in all, I was pleasantly pleased.

Hats off to Race Director, Dave Scott, who put together a magnificent marathon in Miami. Check out the finishing medals. They are the most unique I've seen in my 36 years of road racing.

Put this one on your bucket list. The Miami Marathon is a first-class, world-class event.